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SPOOF: The Mayweather-King Conversations

Don King: Floyd’s what’s up brother?

Floyd Mayweather: Don, HBO and Golden Boy are forcing me to fight Pacquiao next. But I’m the entreprenuer, I’m the one who calls the shots.

Don King: You don’t want to fight Pacquiao next?

Floyd Mayweather: I would – but I don’t like HBO and Golden Boy forcing me to do nuthin’. You feel me Don, you understand where I’m coming from? I’m the one who calls all the shots, I’m the face of boxing. Not HBO or Golden Boy. I’m bigger than the sport, the sport will die without me. I own the sport, I own Vegas.

Don King: I hear you Floyd! You are talking ghetto-ese and ebonics! And they don’t understand you.

Floyd Mayweather: So can you help me out Don? I need that big TV money for fights where I pick my opponents. Then I’ll fight Pacquiao when I want to fight Pacquiao.

Don King: Well Floyd, you are coming to me at the wrong time. I don’t have any leverage any more with HBO or Showtime. Mike Tyson, Trinidad and Chavez were my leverage. HBO is so powerful now they can freeze your ass out and they can freeze my ass out too. They just froze the Klitschkos asses out.

Floyd Mayweather: But you got Tyson over $20,000,000 for Peter McNeeley. Can’t you do that for me? Get me five or six McNeeley’s and we can do it big. We can stage my fights at Michael Jordan’s arena or in Miami with LeBron.

Don King: You had your Peter McNeeley’s – Baldomir, Mitchell, Bruseles, Marquez, Mosley. Now you gotta fight your Lennox Lewis and Holyfield. It’s your time to fight the fights the fans want to see. It’s all about giving the fans the best show so they keep coming back for more. No one wants to see you or Pacquiao fight anyone else. You and Pacquiao have to get it on! Now!

Floyd Mayweather: Can you take me to another network like BET or Spike or ESPN? We could make history together, Don King and Floyd Mayweather World Tour, Dubai, London, Japan, Africa, just like The Jacksons Victory Tour.

Don King: I lost millions from that tour. Forget it brother. I ain’t risking millions for your guarantees for you to fight a bunch of handpicked stiffs which no one buys tickets for. Just get the hell in there and fight the best. If you fight Pacquiao, then we can talk. Then we can do the world tour. Why not just fight the Pac Man now?

Floyd Mayweather: I would but I don’t want anyone forcing me to do it. I’ll do it on my terms. I made HBO and Golden Boy millions. I want to do the world tour, get 50 wins, then I’ll fight Pacquiao after.

Don King: It’s an easy fight Floyd, just go in there and beat him with your skills that pay the bills, like Whitaker beat Chavez, like Holmes beat Cooney. You’re the best, the creme de la creme. God don’t want you to lose. Don’t you believe in destiny?

Floyd Mayweather: (Floyd begins to stutter, sweat and shed tears.) Don, I’m a pretender. I’m a manufactured, protected fraud.

Don King: (In soft voice) Boxing is a tough business Floyd. You had your time at the top, if it’s over now it’s over. It’s Manny Pacquiao’s time now. It’s time to cash out and take the money HBO is offering. There’s no where else to run or hide, no time for vacations, you have to fight this guy next. It’s your fate.

Floyd Mayweather: (Composes himself) Do you have Vince McMahon or Dana White’s numbers? Maybe I can fool them to promote me.

Don King: They don’t want you Floyd. There comes a time in a man’s life when he has to answer the call. Pacquiao is calling you. He wants a fight. Floyd, you have to answer the call. A man must fight. Do it for the sport, the future of the sport. Do it for your fans. Do it for history.

Floyd Mayweather: I don’t want to lose. I don’t want to get knocked out Don. My whole life, my whole persona is based on that 0.

Don King: Every man loses. Ali lost. Robinson lost. Tyson, Chavez lost. It’s a tough sport Floyd. You’re gonna lose, you’re gonna get knocked out. You’ll live to see another day. A coward dies a thousand deaths. But a warrior is always a warrior. Everyone loves a gladiator.

Floyd Mayweather: [Long pause] Maybe you’re right Don. I’m gonna sign the contract for November 13. If I get knocked out like Jermain Taylor, Roy Jones and Larry Holmes, I get knocked out. This is what the fans want to see. It’s destiny. Whatever happens, happens. This is what boxing is all about. May the best man win. Me and Pacquiao can help put boxing back on the map. Thanks for your help Don, it was great talking with you.

Don King: Hey, wait a minute Floyd. Don’t leave yet! I want my cut for making the fight. Tell HBO and Golden Boy I want my 33%!

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