by Charles Jay

Okay, we have come to the conclusion, through much consideration, that Floyd Mayweather will not likely do an interview with HBO’s Larry Merchant, either before or after his May 5 fight against Miguel Cotto, that centers around People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

Photo: Golden Boy

It’s not really a big deal to me, or probably to anyone else, that Mayweather doesn’t intend to stay in the ring to be interviewed by Merchant after the fight, instead choosing to collect his check and “chill’ with “50” (that’s 50 Cent, for the uninitiated). If I was tired after a long fight and had an 81-year-old guy in the middle of the ring, fresh as a daisy, who was looking to kick my ass, I might do the same thing. But this latest incident with the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) is touchy stuff indeed. To them, anyway.

Don’t cross PETA. They do indeed euthanize, so it’s not a good idea to piss them off.

But wouldn’t you know – oops, he did it again, in an installment of HBO’s “Mayweather/Cotto 24/7,” which, if you’re not familiar, is a semi-documentary series designed to promote upcoming HBO pay-per-view fights, and which is edited down from, what we imagine, hundreds of hours of footage. In other words, somebody made the conscious decision to keep it in the show.

Describing his gym in Las Vegas as the “doghouse,” he was comparing the scene to watching two pit bulls fight each other, but then he paused to consider a bit of political correctness.

Believe me, it was only for a split second.

“I don’t wanna get in trouble with the PETA people, but – the animal rights people, but s**t. I don’t give a f**k because I wear mink coats,” he said. “I’m going to wear chinchilla and rock mink coats. The same people who gonna tell you, you can’t wear animal fur and s**t. Them the same people that’s eatin’ chickens. Eatin’ cow and eatin’ steak. So f**k what they talk about.”

And you see? Those are the kinds of things that set people off. But now, like an effective pundit, the guy’s got me thinking: do you figure them PETA people, who make all that noise, are the same people that’s eatin’ chickens and cow and steak and s**t after a long day of protesting?

Not a chance, as the organization retorted (no, we’re not kidding).

“PETA has an all-vegan office policy, and the people who work for PETA do so because they are driven by the cause to end cruelty to animals. Typically, the majority of employees are already vegetarian or vegan when they come to PETA.”

Hey, you don’t have to go very far to find the very simple policy on the “issues” page of the PETA website:

“Animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, use for entertainment, or abuse in any way.”

I’m glad we got that one settled.

But wait, there’s more! Not one to stop there – or anywhere, for that matter – this is the actual PETA statement, specific to Mayweather:

“People who proudly admit to wearing fur are either ignorant or arrogant about animal suffering. And people who allude to attending dogfights are inviting the authorities to investigate a potential felony. PETA promotes living compassionately, including choosing vegan meals, but you don’t have to be a vegetarian to object to a cruel blood ‘sport’ in which dogs are left mangled, bloody, soaked in urine and saliva, and unable to walk, and the ‘losers’ are killed for not having been ‘game.’ Unless Floyd Mayweather’s agent will strangle, shoot or beat him to death if he loses, his comparing boxing to dogfighting is as absurd as it is offensive.”

Hmmm. I’m interested in that last line. Is Al Haymon a dangerous fellow?

At any rate, Mayweather, as a Las Vegan, must be opposed to those people who are just plain and simple Vegans. That’s discrimination, isn’t it?

PETA has been on Mayweather’s case before. This post, written by Karin Bannett, was pulled from its official blog, dated July 26, 2010:

“While boxing fans debate whether undefeated welterweight Floyd Mayweather Jr. is too yellow to step into the ring with Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao, there’s no question that PETA members are seeing red after a video surfaced of Mayweather cheering at a bloody cockfight in Puerto Rico. Cheering! After watching this video, I’d love to see PETA’s pal “Sugar” Shane Mosley knock some sense (and maybe even some compassion) into Mayweather in a rematch.”

Okay, we understand the sentiment; Mosley did an ad for PETA that read, “I Choose to Fight. Dogs Don’t.” But PETA did not get its wish in that one.

It’s not going to be easy to beat Floyd that way, especially if he doesn’t get in the ring with Pacquiao.

Oh, and speaking of Pacquiao, what’s the deal there? This guy has admitted to keeping cocks on the premises (don’t go there) for the purposes of fighting. He had a thousand or so roosters in his possession, and God knows what else.

Well, come to think of it, God probably WOULD know what else, wouldn’t He?

That’s why He told Manny to knock it off, and Pacquiao became a “changed man” (aside from that big-money ad for alcohol, of course – PacMan picks and chooses which Commands he’ll follow).

But we really haven’t heard PETA getting loud about that, have we? There’s something incongruous about that. After all, why would it make much difference to this group of activists whether cock fighting, dog fighting or bull fighting was legal within any particular set of borders? Cruelty is cruelty, isn’t it? And a perpetrator is a perpetrator, right?

To my knowledge, Mayweather hasn’t thrown any chickens, cows, dogs, cats or geese and s**t out there to be slaughtered.

So what the f**k is going on?

For those of you who think Mayweather is getting singled out, and may want to bring issues with Pacquiao’s real-life animal cruelty before the general public, I might suggest the formation of a new organization that doesn’t necessarily have to be a 501(c)3 non-profit like PETA. This one could be called People for the Ethical Treatment of Floyd. It’s been shortened, by the way, from People for the Ethical Treatment of Floyd and S**t Like That.

The acronym (all organizations have to have an acronymn, don’t they?) could be PEToF. And the members of such an organization could be called – what else – PEToFiles.

So let me see a show of hands. Who wants to be a PEToFile?

Hey 50, are you in?

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