Jake Paul, Porky and The Fall of the House of Fury: Pt. 1, Pop Pop, Bang!

by John “Gutterdandy” Walker

Back when WBC world heavyweight champion Tyson Fury of the UK knocked out former title holder Deontay Wilder in November, 2021, it seemed as if the stock of the Fury clan–Tyson Fury, his father “Gypsy” John Fury, his half-brother Tommy Fury–could only keep rising.  

Tyson Fury had now beaten the American, one of the hardest punchers in boxing history, twice out of three tries, and even their first meeting, which was called a draw, many believed was also in reality a Fury win, as the Brit fighter appeared to have easily won the majority of the rounds.

However, since that last fight in this heavyweight trilogy, it seems that flying too close to the sun has caused the Fury clan’s collective wings to begin to melt. 

Gypsy John Fury, an ex-convict and former heavyweight boxer who often seems to live vicariously through the exploits of his son Tyson, quickly escalated his already boisterous rhetoric following his son’s latest win over Wilder.  He appeared to become intoxicated by his many media appearances, and soon he was making ever wilder claims not only about the boxing prowess of his son Tyson, but of himself. 

Gypsy John now began to claim that he could beat many of the fighters his son was being matched against.  He also said he was issuing a challenge to any man in his 50s who thought he could defeat John Fury to step up and offer a challenge, and then see how badly they would be beaten up.  “Pop Pop, BANG, on the floor, end of, ya bum” became Gypsy John’s comical motto.

Gypsy John proclaimed himself the “best 50 odd-year-old man in the world” when it came to fighting and when it came to virility.  His on-camera commentating performances grew ever more hyperbolic, as he bellowed “pop pop BANG” while physically demonstrating how quickly he would dispose of any challenger. 

But what John Fury wasn’t counting on was Mickey Theo, a gentlemanly bodybuilder two years older than Gypsy John, soon taking up his challenge.  Theo began making numerous appearances on the boxing-themed YouTube channel Porky’s Corner, where Theo–his heavily veined, Popeye-looking forearms bulging –and sardonic host “The Pork” aka “Porky” began to challenge Gypsy John to meet Theo in the ring, with the proceeds from ticket sales going to the British National Health Service.

To make things spicier, Theo and The Pork managed to dig up two clips of Gypsy John Fury getting knocked out during his own professional career in devastating fashion.  The two men howled with laughter while watching the clips and mocking Fury’s lack of boxing prowess.  “Come on John, ‘pop pop Bang, end of, ya bum!'” laughed The Pork.  The man shown writhing on the canvas in pain, beaten down, in these clips was the same man now claiming he could beat any 50-year-old fighter alive? Really?

Suddenly, John Fury became less interested in fighting another man in his 50s.  Rumors soon spread that bodybuilder-turned-boxer Theo had knocked out a professional fighter with a hard body shot early on in a gym bout.  Perhaps aware of Theo’s reputation, John Fury soon began to hem and haw, coming up with a variety of conditions and excuses as to why he could not or would not be able to fight Mickey Theo.  Then Gypsy John Fury suddenly went off the grid. Theo would continue to periodically pursue the fight, but at this stage, John Fury was obviously not up for the challenge.

From there, things have only gotten worse for the Fighting Fury Clan, as Jake Paul, the infamous “YouTube boxer” who already had a fight with Gypsy John’s son Tommy, a half-brother to Tyson, fall through, began to show a mastery of the social media trolling and mind games that had been the Furys’ forte until now, as Paul turned the tables on them. 

Soon, the Fury family would fall into almost complete disarray as Jake Paul called them on all of their overblown rhetoric, exposing a web of seeming contradictions and hypocrisy in the process.

Tomorrow: Part 2, Jake Paul vs “Tommy Fumbles”