by Charles Jay

And so it has been announced that Floyd Mayweather’s guaranteed purse for Saturday’s bout against Miguel Cotto is $32 million, which is to date the largest in the history of boxing. Of course, there’s some back end money that will invariably be added to it, but the guaranteed figure alone looks like quite enough to have a good time with.

Photo: Hogan Photos/ Golden Boy Promotions

We know that Floyd isn’t thrifty. So what could he possibly do with all of that cash? Well, while we’re talking about guarantees, let’s think of what he could “guarantee” himself being able to do with $32 million to throw around:

— He could buy 1.49% of the Los Angeles Dodgers, who recently sold for $2.15 BILLION, although as a convicted felon, I don’t know if he’d get the approval of baseball commissioner Bud Selig. Maybe Barack Obama, whom we’re told (by Floyd) will be walking him into the ring at a future date, could intervene.

— He could feed many homeless people by purchasing roughly 30.2 million items off Wendy’s 99-cent value menu. Tax included!

— He could buy (for the homeless?) seventy 2012 Rolls Royce EWB Sedans, priced at $290,000 each, and if he doesn’t mind having an “older car,” he can then splurge on twenty 2011 Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead Coupe Convertibles, retailing at about $477,000 (all of them fully-loaded of course). Naturally, you’ve got to tool up and down the Strip, and these cars drink up gas (13 and 11 miles per gallon in the city, respectively). So with the $2.76 million he’d have left over, he could buy about 709,500 gallons, based on current Nevada prices. That yields 342 full tanks, enough for close to four fill-ups per vehicle.

— He could purchase approximately 537,800 cartons of premium cigarettes for his fellow inmates, once he gets to prison (I hear someone in the background shouting “To ensure his safety!”).

— He could also BUY the prison, I suppose, if he wanted. That might ensure his safety too.

— He could get himself on the ballot as a presidential candidate in all 50 states. It’s not too late, and not too early either (Floyd’s 35, so he’s constitutionally qualified, even with the conviction). Then he’d have quite a bit left over to party (political or otherwise) with. If he wins, he could pardon himself.

— If he doesn’t run for office, he could probably guarantee himself sleeping quarters in the Lincoln Bedroom at the White House for about 320 straight nights, based on what has been reported on the “value” of such a thing. That may or not include room service or pull-out bed. We didn’t check. And of course, it all depends on who’s occupying the Oval Office when all is said and done.

— Speaking of sleeping and partying, he could, if he wanted, occupy the 10,000-square foot Hugh Hefner Sky Villa suite at the Palms Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas (complete with outdoor Jacuzzi) for a period of more than two years and two months, which is pretty good when you consider it’s $40,000 per night. Of course, we’re not including discounts for extended stays.

— Since we know how the guy likes to roll, he could also occupy the Chairman Suite at the Bellagio, a Duplex Suite at Caesars Palace and one of the Sky Lofts at the MGM Mirage SIMULTANEOUSLY for about four and a half years. Or, if he wants to go European-style with his gambling habit, he could live in the Winston Churchill Suite at the Hotel de Paris in Monte Carlo, priced at $11,000 per night, for about eight years (well, depending on how much he wins or loses).

— He could stay at a Motel 6 on East Tropicana Avenue in Las Vegas for the next 2866 years (sorry, we didn’t adjust for inflation). Do you figure he’ll try that?

— He could choose to scour the globe for 100 of the estimated 200 bottles of 1907 Heidsieck champagne (known as the “Shipwrecked” collection) that are known to be in existence, at $275,000 apiece. And with the remaining dollars, he can load up with 90 sets of Pernod-Richard Perrier-Jouet, which contain twelve bottles each. Incidentally, travel expenses are NOT included.

— He could buy 160 tickets on the first Virgin Galactic space voyage, which should be enough for him, 50 Cent, and their respective entourages. Oh, and Al Haymon too.

— He could bet $1 million on each NFL team to win next season’s Super Bowl. Then he can, as always, claim that he is a winner.

— He could put all 20 entrants in the Kentucky Derby into a $1 trifecta box – 4677 times – and he’d still have enough to put all the horses into a $1 trifecta wheel. Winning!

— He could get Kim Kardashian, at her going rate, to be the “hostess” of his New Year’s Eve party for at least the next 53 years (can you imagine Kim 53 years from now?).

— He could probably buy the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Permanently.

— He could purchase 1.28 million copies of his own “Mayweather” magazine (no shipping & handling included) so that he guarantee everyone that he has one of the 100 highest paid circulations of any magazine in the country. And therefore a success.

— Finally, he could donate it all to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), in which case I can absolutely, positively guarantee that they’ll stop saying those terrible things about him.

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